: : flashback friday : : a brand new baby : : and a growing ruby : :

this is one of my favorite pictures of ruby & i. she was 4 days old here and already she'd captured our hearts. look at how tiny she was - not even 6 lbs yet. she was so alert. she always has been a very engaged baby. i hear it all the time "look at her big eyes. she's so alert" from strangers, friends, and family. she was also very expressive and, although i don't have any other babies to compare her to, she's always seemed to be very socially engaged. she prefers to be talking or smiling at someone over hanging out on her own. i realize that this could cause some issues at times later, but i'm a chatterbox (and yes, i do realize that this is a primary reason that ruby is such a social butterfly) and i just love to just hang out and "chat" with her. 

anyway, back to baby rubinski...she was such a peanut. i used to walk around while i fed her. with one hand. now my back hurts just swaying back and forth with her and that's with two hands and arms holding her up. now she squirms around when i change her and tries to flip onto her tummy when she's on her reclining chair in the tub. 

i remember long afternoon naps with her on my chest, watching endless episodes of grey's anatomy while i was on maternity leave. i also remember what felt like endless hours of crying in the evening when she was around 8 weeks old. now she rarely really cries unless she's tired, hungry, or just bored. she talks to herself and to us when she's hanging out in her carseat (which she used to absolutely hate). in the morning, when i wake up and she's looking at me, still yawning and waking up herself, i always lean over and kiss her little lips and she immediately breaks out into a smile - the one she only gives her mama. there's nothing like it and it starts every day out right (no matter how many hours she did - or rather, didn't - sleep the night before). 

i've been especially nostalgic about the days surrounding ruby's birth today because my good friend, hillary, had her baby boy late last night (or this very early today - i'm not even sure yet). looking at the few pics i've seen of her, jeff, and danielle with baby eli - holding him so close, kissing his head - got me thinking of those precious moments with ruby. to be honest, the whole process of labor and delivery was a bit traumatic and much of it was a blur, but there are moments that are crystal clear in my mind - looking to my left and seeing her, finally screaming and a sense of relief washing over me -- holding her the first few times i breastfed her the night she was born, just her and i, singing her a song, the same song i'd sung to her a million times while rubbing my belly for months beforehand -- and feeling her warm on my chest, sleeping in my arms.

each day we're making new memories and she's constanty learning something new and doing some new trick that makes her dad and i laugh. every stage she goes through has it's difficulties, but they are greatly outweighed by the sheer happiness that she brings to our lives. and...just when i think she can't get any cuter...

ruby at 4 months old