30 December 2012

2012: the year in a word (or two)

i was reading another blog and the author had written a post titled "one small word". the idea was to sum up the year she had in one word. it was an idea that intrigued me so i am doing the same.

after thinking about it for the past couple days, i've settled on one (well, two actually).

roller coaster.

sounds a little scary, right? well, at times, this year has been downright terrifying. as in, remind-myself-to-breath-&-keep-moving, hold-up-those-around-me-because-there-is-no-way-they-can-make-it-on-their-own scary.

but then there have been moments when i've felt like i was absolutely flying. full of hope and awe.

i know that what i'm describing sounds like most years. it's life, right? full of ups and downs, no matter who you are and no matter what year you've just lived through. but this year, the concept has gone to the extreme on both ends of the spectrum. there have been so many moments when i've felt like i'm literally holding on to whatever i can, whatever hope i can muster up, so that i don't go flying off of this metaphoric roller coaster. i can't remember a year quite like this one. between moments like losing a pregnancy, watching my beautiful daughter turn one year old and continuing to grow everyday, losing T's mom, celebrating my parent's 20 year anniversary, and coping with ruby's developmental delays (and what other physical hardships she may or may not have??), this year has torn me down and lifted me up over and over again.

the good news is that within the last few weeks, i've come to a better place regarding some of the hardships. and while i'm still battling others, i am making the choice to focus on the moments of the last year that have given me reason to hang in there. incidentally, the other word the kept coming to me about this year was "hope". indeed, hope has certainly gotten me through some trying times. it is with hope that i move into 2013, along with a slew of resolutions (mostly small in task, but big in reward). i hope it turns out to be a much happier year. here's to doing all we can to making it so. i wish a happy 2013 to you & your's!

29 December 2012

snow bunny

ruby played in snow for the first time of her 21 months of life today. we have known that she's been a fan of the elements for a long time. probably since she was born. in the hospital, the nurses told us that ruby was given her first bath and they said that she did not like it at all. so when we got home and it came time to clean her up the first time, we were surprised to see that she loved it. since then, she's continued to really like playing in water. in addition, she gets super excited whenever the wind blows through her hair or the rain falls on her face. and then she was introduced to snow. we hadn't gotten much here yet this year but we got a couple inches last night and so she and i ventured out into it today. it was no surprise that she loved it from the start. she threw it in the air and covered her face in it, never seeming to mind how cold it was. and when it was time to go in, i had to drag her out of it. she seemed to have a blast. check it out!

all bundled up and ready for some fun

it's cool, guys. i'll just lay here in the snow.

oh, for the love all things warm and fuzzy, here's ruby's snow angel.

my favorite. becoming a big kid.

28 December 2012

better late than never: merry christmas!

we got some super cute pictures taken in december at a gingerbread house decorating party (i know!!). i even got little pictures printed out to send to everyone for the holidays...and then i lost track of time & didn't send them. fail. BUT there's always handy-dandy new year's card! win.
so, the family might get them that way, but until then, here are my favorites. enjoy!

27 December 2012

christmas happiness

can't believe how quickly christmas came & went this year. i don't think it helps that it was on a tuesday, either. we had a few years when it was attached to weekends & that was good stuff. anyway, while we are trying to get back into the swing of things, we are happy to have some wonderful christmas memories from this year.

ruby & i made the trek up to minnesota by ourselves last weekend. overall, ruby did great & we even dodged a big snowstorm so that was a relief. we stayed at my oldest sister's home and i got to see ALL of my family, which is no small task. all six of my siblings, plus 8 nieces/nephews, plus all 3 of my parents were in one place at one time & i LOVED it. the only draw back was that T couldn't come with us. but when we came back christmas eve, we got to spend that evening & all of christmas day with him, which was a wonderful time.

here's a photo bomb of some good times, christmas style!

ruby found her cousin's "um- ella!!" 

view from my sister's front yard. she lives in the country, which made for a perfectly relaxing trip.

fun with grandma della

cousins hard at work (aka unwrapping presents)

"holy crap!! check out my new ride! it comes with a WAND!" 

someone loves their auntie lisa

i can't tell you the sheer joy ruby had when playing at Bounce World. homegirl was losing her ever- loving mind. and also, i think i had just as much fun as she did. 

there is little more wonderful than the friendship found in a cousin.

"cheese!!" having lunch with her cousin, teagan.


25 December 2012

i am still here.

i think about blogging all the time. the past few months, well past six months actually, have been difficult at times. each time i think of coming on here to document about the latest happenings, i've stopped myself because i haven't wanted to wallow in the darkness and focus on the negative. sometimes it feels like if i express my deepest, darkest fears out loud, i'm somehow jinxing the worst to happen. makes total, logical sense, right? now would probably be a good time to mention that i tend to be a bit of a worrier and have been known to let my anxieties run a tad out of control.

so, one of my new year's resolutions is to actively & purposefully live in each moment and appreciate it as it is, to stop trying to plan everything or trying to imagine all of the possible "what if" situations that could arise in the future. i will be around "here" more often (another resolution) and will give more information as to what's all been going on with us. it's a lot to get into right now and i am sleepy tonight.

so for this evening, i will say merry christmas. and here's to a beautiful 2013!