30 December 2012

2012: the year in a word (or two)

i was reading another blog and the author had written a post titled "one small word". the idea was to sum up the year she had in one word. it was an idea that intrigued me so i am doing the same.

after thinking about it for the past couple days, i've settled on one (well, two actually).

roller coaster.

sounds a little scary, right? well, at times, this year has been downright terrifying. as in, remind-myself-to-breath-&-keep-moving, hold-up-those-around-me-because-there-is-no-way-they-can-make-it-on-their-own scary.

but then there have been moments when i've felt like i was absolutely flying. full of hope and awe.

i know that what i'm describing sounds like most years. it's life, right? full of ups and downs, no matter who you are and no matter what year you've just lived through. but this year, the concept has gone to the extreme on both ends of the spectrum. there have been so many moments when i've felt like i'm literally holding on to whatever i can, whatever hope i can muster up, so that i don't go flying off of this metaphoric roller coaster. i can't remember a year quite like this one. between moments like losing a pregnancy, watching my beautiful daughter turn one year old and continuing to grow everyday, losing T's mom, celebrating my parent's 20 year anniversary, and coping with ruby's developmental delays (and what other physical hardships she may or may not have??), this year has torn me down and lifted me up over and over again.

the good news is that within the last few weeks, i've come to a better place regarding some of the hardships. and while i'm still battling others, i am making the choice to focus on the moments of the last year that have given me reason to hang in there. incidentally, the other word the kept coming to me about this year was "hope". indeed, hope has certainly gotten me through some trying times. it is with hope that i move into 2013, along with a slew of resolutions (mostly small in task, but big in reward). i hope it turns out to be a much happier year. here's to doing all we can to making it so. i wish a happy 2013 to you & your's!

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