29 July 2011

: : flashback friday : : a brand new baby : : and a growing ruby : :

this is one of my favorite pictures of ruby & i. she was 4 days old here and already she'd captured our hearts. look at how tiny she was - not even 6 lbs yet. she was so alert. she always has been a very engaged baby. i hear it all the time "look at her big eyes. she's so alert" from strangers, friends, and family. she was also very expressive and, although i don't have any other babies to compare her to, she's always seemed to be very socially engaged. she prefers to be talking or smiling at someone over hanging out on her own. i realize that this could cause some issues at times later, but i'm a chatterbox (and yes, i do realize that this is a primary reason that ruby is such a social butterfly) and i just love to just hang out and "chat" with her. 

anyway, back to baby rubinski...she was such a peanut. i used to walk around while i fed her. with one hand. now my back hurts just swaying back and forth with her and that's with two hands and arms holding her up. now she squirms around when i change her and tries to flip onto her tummy when she's on her reclining chair in the tub. 

i remember long afternoon naps with her on my chest, watching endless episodes of grey's anatomy while i was on maternity leave. i also remember what felt like endless hours of crying in the evening when she was around 8 weeks old. now she rarely really cries unless she's tired, hungry, or just bored. she talks to herself and to us when she's hanging out in her carseat (which she used to absolutely hate). in the morning, when i wake up and she's looking at me, still yawning and waking up herself, i always lean over and kiss her little lips and she immediately breaks out into a smile - the one she only gives her mama. there's nothing like it and it starts every day out right (no matter how many hours she did - or rather, didn't - sleep the night before). 

i've been especially nostalgic about the days surrounding ruby's birth today because my good friend, hillary, had her baby boy late last night (or this very early today - i'm not even sure yet). looking at the few pics i've seen of her, jeff, and danielle with baby eli - holding him so close, kissing his head - got me thinking of those precious moments with ruby. to be honest, the whole process of labor and delivery was a bit traumatic and much of it was a blur, but there are moments that are crystal clear in my mind - looking to my left and seeing her, finally screaming and a sense of relief washing over me -- holding her the first few times i breastfed her the night she was born, just her and i, singing her a song, the same song i'd sung to her a million times while rubbing my belly for months beforehand -- and feeling her warm on my chest, sleeping in my arms.

each day we're making new memories and she's constanty learning something new and doing some new trick that makes her dad and i laugh. every stage she goes through has it's difficulties, but they are greatly outweighed by the sheer happiness that she brings to our lives. and...just when i think she can't get any cuter...

ruby at 4 months old

23 July 2011

lyrics i love v. 5

i can hardly believe that i've been doing "lyrics i love" for over  a month and have yet to post a JM song. this song is one of my favorites from his 'heavier things' album, his second big release. 'daughters' got most of the play from this album and while it's a great song, i like this song more. when it comes to my love of music, john mayer is at the top of my list. although he is incredibly talented, i'm probably a bit partial to him because he's basically provided the soundtrack to my adult life. and his lyrics are heartbreakingly honest. in fact, i fell in love with his music for the first time without even listening to him sing. i was a freshman in college and went to a small talent show in the dorms where i lived. there was a guy singing 'why georgia' and i was hooked from the moment i heard that song. of course it was catchy, as any good pop song is, but what really got me was the lyrics. at the time, he only had an indie album out, but his first big album 'room for squares' was about to drop and he would soon be coming to the rave in milwaukee for a show. myself and two of my best friends went to the show and from then on, i followed him and his music closer than any other artist. i fell in love with terence while 'any given thursday' (live album) played in the background of my life junior year. i remember exactly where i was when 'heavier things' was released. i rushed out to get it and couldn't get the wrapping off the cd fast enough. i laid on my bed at my first apartment in college and listened to every song beginning to end. twice. (as became my ritual for every album he has released to date.) his next album, 'continuum' absolutely killed me and is arguably (although i have no idea who in their right mind would argue with me on it) best album to date. my sister and i got to see him perform in john mayer trio at a small venue in minneapolis where we absolutely lost ourselves in his music and mad guitar skills (oh, and for lisa, also in captain & cokes. two, i think. but it was enough. :) ). his last album, 'battle studies' was definitely not his best, but it had it's moments and i still listen to it regularly. i wait in anticipation for his next album and have heard it may be released this fall (eeek!!) 
no doubt that i will post many JM songs in the future, but we will start with this one. it's my mantra in life that everything is just a phase and this song puts things in perspective for me, reminding me to appreciate the here and now and to take everything in stride. here are my favorite lines -

"people have the right to fly. and will when it gets compromised. 
their hearts say 'move along'. their minds say 'gotcha heart'. let's move it along...

and if you never stop when you wave goodbye,
you just might find if you give it time, you will wave hello again...

and that's the way this wheel keeps working now...
you can't love too much one part of it..."

21 July 2011

our growing girl

it's been a minute since i've posted. the days have been flying by. ruby is changing so much every day and we try to soak up every minute we have with her. between that, trying to sleep, and spending about a half hour washing ruby's bottles each night, time is running low. at any rate, life is wonderful these days. more than ever before, ruby is becoming more and more like a little girl and much less like a baby. now, you better believe she's still sleeping like a baby. that has become my focus lately since she doesn't seem to be a natural sleeper. that doesn't bother me much. in fact, i really don't mind getting up at night with her, even 3 or 4 times. what i really want for her is to be able to learn how to put herself to sleep. i am not willing to just let her "cry it out" so i've been reading the "no cry sleep solution" book. i absolutely love it's approach. it's not a quick fix solution, but instead focuses on gradual changes. i've heard that sleep regression and just needing to learn how to put themselves to sleep is a common developmental change for most babies so i'm not sweating it too much. it's just a phase, like everything else.

and speaking of development, on a much more fun topic - ruby is really starting to make good use of her hands. it's the sweetest thing. she's the sweetest thing. she's constantly chewing on her fingers, using them to grab at toys or pretty much anything in her reach and then immediately shove it in her mouth. and i don't have a picture of it (because i took video, of course!), but every so often, she will fall asleep while chewing on her fingers and kinda talking to herself. it is hilarious! here's some ruby-love and examples of her new skills. i think my personal favorite is the second from the left on top - i mean, she is seriously showing that toy who's boss! although, i can't deny that the bottom right isn't pretty awesome, too.
*sigh* we are in love.

13 July 2011

in collage: july fourth weekend

i've been meaning to document some fun pics from our trip up to MN for the july 4th break. ruby was a trooper on the drive up (from the smile on her face in the carseat pic you'd think she actually liked that thing. um, no. carseat = torture device in ruby's eyes.) we stayed at my sister and brother-in-laws house and as usual it was a blast! our nieces, teagan and maren, are a hoot. they are full of non-stop fun and excitement. and they love ruby. i *cannot* wait until she's a bit older and can really play with her cousins. we also got to spend a lot of time with my younger sister, sam. sam is one of the sweetest, most caring people on this planet. she is a beautiful person inside and out. we don't get to spend any where near as much time together as i'd like us to so being able to enjoy each other so much this weekend was wonderful. and yup, she loves ruby, too. :) i don't have pics of it, but we also got to see my mom. she came up to lisa's for a day (and brought me a huge jar of rhubarb champagne jam - sweet!). we also got to see my dad and mom, along with more extended family, at a delicious (can you say brisket? oh lordy!) bbq. it was an awesome trip - nice and long (and included a trip to ikea!) and filled with lots of love and laughter with our family.

12 July 2011

*wordless-ish wednesday*

i think the word is adoration. yeah. definitely. i adore ruby. and although she was pretty preoccupied by the tv at this moment, she would giggle and smile when i'd attack her with kisses, so i'm pretty sure she likes me too. :)

09 July 2011

lyrics i love v. 4

atmosphere is the shiz. and this song is no exception. i absolutely love it. great lyrics. definitely dance-able. and plus, when i sing the chorus to ruby, she thinks it's pretty great too. i'll admit - atmosphere's not the most appropriate music for kids, but this one (at least the chorus) works. i mean, "if she's runnin' low, imma fill her cup. if it spills, chill, imma clean it up"... sounds pretty right to me. oh, and this video is pretty rad. :) enjoy!

08 July 2011

if you're going to choose someone to share your life with, you should choose someone like this...

i realized i haven't posted much about T. which is crazy seeing as how he is pretty much my bestie. everyday i am grateful for him. we are going to celebrate 9 years together this coming november and it is amazing to think about our history together. when i met him at a mall my sophomore year of college, i had no idea that in a little over a year i'd be dating my future husband. it was an instant connection and we became friends quickly. i loved how he always made me laugh, what a snazzy dresser he was (ahem! and still is), and that he seemed genuinely kind. plus, it didn't hurt that he'd buy me beer if i asked. our 7 year age gap came in handy at times. :)

i think the age gap freaked T out a bit but there was no denying the obvious connection we had and despite some obstacles, a little over a year after we met, we were dating. within a month, i'd already dropped the "L" word (in a voicemail...on accident...it's a funny story) and i pretty much knew we were a done deal, in it for the long haul,  in it to win it... you get the idea.  :)

and now i know that it was the best decision (as if it were a choice) i've ever made. i used to always say that i never put much stock in the idea of fate or soul mates. and for the most part, i do still think that we choose to make a relationship work or we choose not to. however, as i look back on the relationships i've been in and the ones that i could have become involved in, i see just how close to perfect terence is for me. no one else has ever been as patient, as understanding, as supportive, or as caring as him. and now that we have ruby i am even more grateful for these qualities because they make for an incredible father. T loves ruby and i and he makes us his priority; i see it every day.
so, like i said, i couldn't have picked a better person to share my life with. 

ok, i'm done gushing now. you can go throw up. :)

07 July 2011

blogging and baby-raising

i haven't told many people about this blog of mine. when i did tell one friend, she giggled and said " 'cause that's what people do after they have babies, right?" i didn't realize it but after looking around i saw she was kinda right. i have been following a baby blog (http://www.agoodlifeblog.com/) since november of last year, but i had no idea that there was a whole baby blog world. i should have known - i mean, it is the internet, right? what isn't on here? anyway, i have found that i really love to blog. :) it's kind of like a journal for me - a place to spill all my thoughts, experiences, memories, and feelings. T reads it so i know he'll see what's on my mind, but i don't have to come straight out and say it to him. we communicate well but sometimes it's easier to communicate with pictures and written word like i can here.

but i haven't been able to post as much as i would have liked lately because life is busy these days. between visiting with family, our day to day life flies by quick. ruby and i get home around 5:30, i get an hour or so to play with her, then it's bath time with dad (for her, i mean. this is a PG blog. heh!), and bedtime around 7:30. after that i have to make something for dinner, pick up the house, wash all ruby's bottles, and get her food ready for the next day at daycare. blah - it's exhausting just re-reading that! after i've finished all that, i inevitably think to myself - "self, you should really go to bed b/c your kid will be up in less than 4 hours." but if i do that i miss out on the good stuff - watching the brewer's with T, having any sort of an adult conversation with him, and my most recent favorite past time - bloggin'.

so, as you can see, blogging while raising a baby is tough work! but regardless, i hope to be able to keep it up. i really love looking back at pictures and posts and remembering all the fun stuff we've done as a family. it's cliche and you hear it all the time, but the time with your kid really does just fly by. i am grateful for every second of it and i hope you never hear me complain about it. i'm honored to be a mom - to be ruby's mom. i know life will be different for a while - well, really, it'll never be the same again. but it is better than i could have ever imagined. it's not something that i can explain to anyone who isn't a parent themselves. and it's not like i can sit around talking about ruby all day. i mean, i am completely capable of doing that :) but i'm sure no one wants to hear it all day long. which is probably why moms and dads start blogs after they have kids. for me anyway, i have to get it all out there - the overwhelming and completely amazing experience that is life after you start a family. 

i'm rambling now. so to summarize - i hope i can keep this bloggin' deal up even with the craziness that is life these days. and hardly anyone looks at this blog, but for those of you that do, i know that you'd be very sad if you weren't able to see stuff like this on a regular basis...

but. ter. ball.
this kid. she kills me. :)