our week in iphone pics: may 13th - 19th

this week was brutal. work was, i don't even know what work was. it was out of control. we are under-staffed right now. my position is supposed to carry two cases. right now i have eight. so, that's been fun. but, we've hired a few people that are starting soon and that will be sure to help. and to make up for the less-than-wonderful work days, ruby, T, and i have had some fun-filled evenings and weekends. check us out...

1. ruby has been pretending her cymbal is a pacifier lately. it kills me. 2. practicing
her "gentle touch" skills with the cat. who, i'm certain, will be eternally grateful
that i've taken the time to teach her such things. 3. playing peek-a-book with mom,
signing "more". (well, her version of "more" anyway.) 4. putting my sunglasses
on in the backseat. 5. we seriously need another gate. we have one at the top of
the stairs, but this girl has learned to easily scale the boxes at the bottom of the stairs
that used to stop her from such experiencing such adventures. she is on the move.
6. and speaking of doing "big kid" stuff, here she is practicing her spoon skills.
no big deal, ma, no big deal.

1. wrestling with dad. 2. "i just don't know, mom." 3. checking out the trees.
4. puttin' down an ice cream cookie sandwich. 5. we found a mallard (!) in our yard.
and ruby almost ate it. okay, i'm kidding. but she was did chase it around the yard.
poor duck. 6. family trip to alterra, our local coffee shop.

1. ruby sorta loved her first brewers game. 2. T was pretty proud of his girl
sportin' our team's hat. 3. and speaking of hats, it's officially summer when
little baby bonnets come out. 4. hello little yogi-sleeping-babe. 5. more sleeping -
dad and ruby catching some z's. 6. on the way to work, ruby paged through one
of her favorite books while i recited it from memory from the front seat (the skills
that we develop as parents are crazy!. the best part, though, was when we finished
the book, i could see ruby signing "more". so i recited it again, of course. :)

1. this ruby-sized water bottle is ruby's new best friend. 2. the behavioral health
program that i work for has been creating an art installation with the help of the
youth in our program. the youth did all the painting and this weekend the final
piece was assembled. it looks so freaking awesome. i hope the youth will be proud
of themselves everytime they see it. 3. it has been HOT, so i got ruby this ridiculously
cute pool. and then ruby continued to freak the heck out in excitement. 4. this girl is
getting really good at standing on her own. this week, she's started getting up all by
herself. pretty impressive. 5. she's a goof. 6. this is the i'm-watching-sid-the-science-kid-
and-can't-be-bothered face.



1. ruby isn't doing anything particularly special in this picture, but her outfit
is just too cute and i had to document it. 2. then i tried to get ruby to smile in a
picture with me and she mean mugged instead. thanks, kid. 3. here is ruby stealing
a bite of T's cinnamon roll. (and he doesn't look all that happy about it!) .

linking up with amy at a good life blog.

if no one else shows up, i will

i am a...

college-educated, state licensed, client advocating, social server, therapy providing, systems, testing, family preserving, minority supporting, social conscious raising, data collecting, disease preventing, child defending, staff developing, human assisting, strength focused, social rights championing, ego lending, crisis intervening, teacher, facilitator, listener, encourager, supporter, leader, with professionalism, integrity, concern, empathy, values, love, trust, honest, warmth, basic agent for change ...social worker.

*note: i am all of these things except state licensed - i got lazy when i got preggers and didn't take the test. :)

professionally, this week was a bit of a doozy for me. i got back to work full time since i left on maternity leave in march. but since i'd been back part time for the last month, switching to full time didn't make much of a difference to me (other than ruby & i actually having to get our butts out of bed before 9 am.)

no, what was difficult were a couple cases that i covered for some co-workers of mine. i work in a program that works with young adults that are involved in the court system due to severe mental illness and are at risk of being placed outside their homes (or already are). i've become fairly desensitized to the kind of work i do and rarely get rattled by the extreme behavior i see on a daily basis. but yesterday, i had to attend two different court hearings for two different young men. though their circumstances were different, they each were facing new delinquency charges and were being held in secure detention and brought up to the courtroom for their hearings.

nothing about this was new to me. i've seen many of the kids i work with handcuffed, sometimes in shackles, brought up to court. and it can be a sad sight, for sure, but witnessing this scene now - as a mom - it just feels different. both of these kids really had no idea what the judge was telling them - because i know them, i know they're not intellectually able to understand. as the judge was explaining to them the possible repercussions of their substantial battery charges (a felony for one of them), i couldn't stop watching each boy. it was clear they were nodding when they thought they should, saying "yes, ma'am" with the hope of getting out of there as quick as possible. and as i looked around the court room, neither of them had any family present. just the legal parties. and me. that's it. 

and that, boys and girls, is precisely why those boys were sitting in a courtroom, in the first place.

the realization of this suddenly broke my heart and i found myself blinking away tears. i know the parents that i work with are exhausted dealing with their kid who, from their perspective, is completely out of control. but i want to tell them - if you would just show up for your kid. show some support, regardless of whether they deserve it at the moment. remember how you felt about them when they were little babies and you could hold them in your arms; when you promised to protect them from anything that would hurt them. and now, set aside your pride, and accept the simple fact that YOU are the one that is hurting them.

i don't have all the answers. i know that i only have the tiniest bit of experience in parenting. i am terrified when i think of all the ways that ruby will test our patience and that she will one day make choices that might hurt her and me. but what my job working with these kids has taught me is that supporting ruby, even if i could not disagree more with a choice she makes, is the best i can give to her. she'll never understand how i would give anything to ensure her safety, success, and happiness, but i will do whatever it takes to make sure she knows that i will always show up for her.