17 months

so, i feel like i just posted one of these updates, because well, i did. but no bother, ruby has continued on with this whole growing up thing. sometimes it delights me & other times it makes me tear up. but in either instance, i am still deliriously happy & in love her & our little family.

so, what is 17 month old ruby all about? here's a snapshot:

• she asks to listen to "sid" every time we get in the car. (as in, "sid the science kid" on pbs. we love that little nerd.) her favorite song is "checking out charts". no joke. she dances and hollers in her seat whenever it comes on. it's not cute at all.

• recently obsessed with movies. it's pretty adorable and provides a nice break for us every once in a while, too. current favorite: monsters, inc. (and as an aside, having a kid is like reliving my own childhood everyday. it's like living it all over again, through ruby. it's kind of awesome.)

• recently, she's become a little in love with her blankets. she asks for them at night time & puts one over head while i rock her. it's pretty hilarious. it's such a grown up thing to do - ask for a blanket. *sigh*

• oh, this is new & quite funny. lately, she takes any bottle of soap, water, etc & taps the top of it on the palm of her hand (like she's pouring it out), then she rubs her hands together, or pretends to rub the soap, water, etc all over herself. it's really the first pretend play she's done & it is so strange to see it & realize that, yeah, we have a toddler now, not a baby. *gulp*

• she just went through a growth spurt & suddenly fits in some of her 18 month clothes. yikes!

* still not walking consistently. she takes steps here & there. her pedi said she's not concerned & we will just see where she's at when we take her in for her 18 month check-up.

* did i say she's had her first play date, too? seriously, enough with the growing up, ruby! this is why i have no qualms with rocking ruby to sleep still. does anyone else see how fast she's growing up? before long, she won't want me to hold her or do anything for her. no, ma'am, i will rock my babe as long as she'll let me.

and lastly, here's some sweet shots i got this month. enjoy!

slackin'

so, a couple months ago ruby turned 15 months. and then a month after that she turned 16 months. (funny how that happens, eh?) and although i took her monthly pics, i sure did slack off on updating it on here. so, thanks for your patience. and here goes!

ruby, lately...
• she is obsessed with balls, balloons, snacks, movies, & sid the science kid. oh, and "doggies!!"
• loves noodles of any kind, knows "chocolate" (she is my kid, after all), and doesn't want anything cut up in little pieces anymore. she wants to take bites off of bigger pieces, thank you very much and if you don't respect this request, i will throw all of your food on the floor & laugh about it.
• she is constantly taking objects, laying them down on the floor, & covering them with a blanket or towel. i thought she wanted a doll, but I guess she just likes covering things up. little nerd.
• peek a boo is still the most amazing game ever. she also likes to wrestle with her dad.
• taking more & more steps gradually. walking is clearly not a priority for ruby. it appears that she knows what she's doing, she just hasn't mustered up the courage to take off and do it all the time. but she's making progress.
• ruby had her first play date & basically spent the three hours torturing or being tortured by her bestie, ava. she wasn't so sure about sharing HER toys in HER house. ava's mom, becky, & i had a blast watching the girls attempt to play, although it was mostly just two wee ones doing their own thing. but a big part of play dates is getting to hang with other adults who can carry on an entire conversation about, say, sippy cups without wanting to gag themselves. it's great making more mama friends, too.
• ruby has been biting lately. she thinks it's a game. we are working on putting a stop to that. wish us luck.
• we got a new big girl bed for her this last week. it is super sweet (bc it's from ikea. duh.) my favorite part is that it's the same width as a twin bed and extends three different lengths so she can essentially use it until she's all grown up (shut up now. she will never grow up.)
• right now ruby is obsessed with pens, markers, and anything involving drawing. her favorite thing to draw on is definitely herself.
• lately, she's been really into music. her favorite books are the ones we sing through and she claps and dances along.
• and can i just tell you how overjoyed i am to report that she's finally sleeping through the night a few times each week. seriously. sleeping through the night?! yes! hopefully this trend continues. again, wish us luck. :)

and now, for the pictures. happy sweet-baby-ruby day! :)

a girl & her soccer ball

a couple weekends ago we went on a family trip to babies are us. (always fun.) for a while, I've been looking for a doll for ruby because she's been acting out caregiving sort of behaviors (covering things with a blanket & rubbing/patting it, for example). we had been to several stores to purchase said doll but was having a hard time finding a doll that didn't need it's diaper changed on the regular, talk, or need to be given actual baths. i was getting a bit discouraged when i came upon a newborn cabbage patch doll. CPK FTW!

well. ruby had different feelings about
mackenzie (given name for super cool doll, of course). she wanted nothing to do with it because she'd spotted (oh holy bananas!) a BALL!!! which she proceeded to scream about until I handed it to her. and then this happened: ruby hugged her soccer ball, kissed it (with the full "mmmmwaahhh" kissy sound), and then got a death grip on that ball with her little fingers until we purchased it. she has since brought it to school to share it with her friends, chased it around the yard, and thrown it repeatedly at the cats (they have yet to catch it, but she's patient. i'm sure the. cats appreciate that.)

when she is playing with it in her car seat, she looks like this. oh, and yes, her soccer-loving dad is quite proud. :)

an interview with my niece, maren. age 3.

what's your favorite color? blue
why? 'cause i don't like the dark.

what's your favorite movie? thomas.
why? 'cause i'm allergic to kittie cats.

what's your favorite time of the day? lunch time
why? because you can't eat toys.

what's your favorite thing to do outside? ehhh. ummmm. ooooh. play with thomas.
why? 'cause i can't eat grass.

what's your favorite thing about teagan (sister, age 5)? that she doesn't bite me.
what's your favorite about mom? she makes me laugh.
what's your favorite about dad? playing coyote with him.
what's your favorite thing about you? i like to not be a tornado.

what do you want to be when you grow up? a princess.
what do you want all of your friends and family to know about you? that i want to dance. and i don't like getting IV's, or poked, or blood drawed.

*i think that pretty much sums up what we all want from life. needles? no. dancing? yes.

wordless-ish wednesday: fine motor skills? check.

i admit this is a little silly post. today, you get no super-cute-ruby post. instead, you get super-growing-ruby-skills post. i felt like this needed to be documented somewhere. this girl lately loves to draw. on anything. paper, the cat, her leg, you name it. i thought this little masterpiece was pretty darn good for our 15 month old lady. (and i was glad i didn't find it on the couch. i've seen her heading that direction with pen in hand more than once. can't say i blamer her - it IS a glorious blank slate. still waiting on the first "i made the wall beautiful with my art, mom" situation. i'm sure i'll post that, too, because, well, you know - me.)

let's have a talk

so. i have been putting this off. you might have noticed since I haven't posted anything of substance in a few weeks.


i guess i'll just say it. we aren't planning a move to portland anymore. the plan is to move to minnesota within the next year.


this might not seem like a big deal and you might be wondering why i am being so weird about it all. before the recent post about our plans to move (ya know, the one where i kinda poured my soul out about how it is my biggest dream and stuff? yeah, that one.), i really hadn't talked much on this blog about how much i wanted this plan to come to fruition. i hadn't said that i was regularly checking PNW blogs, reading online newspapers and magazines from the area, scouting neighborhoods and rental properties almost daily, and studying/highlighting/being a total nerd with my "newcomers guide to portland (and seattle)" book. making the big move was something that i felt in my core was what we needed. well, maybe just me. i don't know. it was so important that i finally documented it on here, actually speaking truthfully to "someone" about how afraid i was that if we didn't go, i would spend my life regretting it.


then over memorial day weekend, we spent four days with my family in minnesota. ruby has gotten to spend a lot of time with my sister, lisa, and her family, but this was the first time that she was with many people in her extended family and really wanted to go to them and spend time with them. it was such a joy to see. as i've said before, i have grown accustomed to not living by my family, but seeing ruby with them and imagining her getting to grow up with her cousins really had an unexpected impact on me that weekend.


it's funny. life, that is. one day i can be feeling one way, totally settled into what i think is best for us, and the next day, out of the blue, feelings that pull me in another direction can creep up.


one thing i am happy to be able to say is that i know this choice is the right one. i am happy with the fact that ruby has and will spend the first couple years of her life with her dad's side of the family. she's developed a solid relationship with them and knows who they are, so she will always know and be close with them. and i am happy to imagine ruby getting into trouble with the cousins she has on my side for years to come, climbing trees and going on treasure hunts, eventually becoming the best of friends and confidants, as i did with a few of my own cousins.


but. it doesn't stop my heart from breaking a little each time i see a picture or memento from our trips to seattle and portland. it doesn't stop the fear that i might look back on my life in 20 years and wish we had moved still. and it doesn't take away the feeling of failure. not being able to realize this dream hurts. and that's really why i haven't posted anything much lately. letting go of that dream is hard to do. and putting it out into the world here, and with the few friends that i've told, means it's real. i wasn't ready to process it all yet. (says the therapist inside me. lol.) i've just sat with the feelings and tried to be mindful of where my head was at with it all, while allowing myself to grieve a bit. i know that sounds cheesy and super dramatic, but to me, it really has been a loss that i needed to deal with it.


now that i've worked through it all, i am able to look forward to the future. moving to MN is a much easier move and we have agreed that T will start looking for jobs in 6 months. it will literally take less than a work day to move our whole lives to a new place. and knowing that it will happen allows me to get excited about all of the wonderful parts of moving (seeing my family, like, during the week?? whaaaat!?) and prepare for other parts (ahem, more of the "s" word. ya know, the white, cold stuff.)


so. there it is. thanks for listening. and thanks for letting me get it out. here's to the future.

wordless-ish wednesday: sunny day

took a day trip to lake geneva on sunday. sunday is always our family day. just the three of us get brunch and do something fun together. this day was really wonderful. it had all the components of a perfect day - my two loves, sun, and ice cream. :) and T took some pictures of ruby & i. i treasure them because i am usually the one taking the pictures so i am not typically in them. sweet moments with my ruby harper.